Weird Science (1985) Poster


Bill Paxton: Chet Donnelly



  • Chet : I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I'm even considering makin' up some shit!"

  • Chet : You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.

  • Chet : How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?

  • [Gary and Wyatt have just returned home from a bar. Gary is very drunk but Wyatt is perfectly sober] 

    Chet : [to Wyatt]  If he pukes, you die.

  • Chet : Lady, I wanna get to the bottom of this. ASAFP.

    Lisa : Oh, so do I.

    Chet : But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.

    Lisa : Why do you have to be such a wanker?

    Chet : Because I get off on it!

  • Chet : Like your panties!

    Wyatt : It's a joke, Chet!

    Chet : That's not a joke, that's a severe behavioral disorder. I mean, the next thing you know, you'll be wearing a bra on your head!

  • Lisa : This is a nuclear missile!

    Chet : I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey!

  • Chet : [opens a pantry door, his grandparents are in there, frozen]  Hi Nanny, hi Grampy.

    Chet : [closes door and turns to everyone else]  I'm not a moron, you know. I...

    Chet : [suddenly realizes]  Was that my grandparents?

    Chet : [Lisa nods, Chet opens the door again]  Are they dead?

    Lisa : Oh, no, they're just resting.

    Chet : What are they doing in here?

    Lisa : I put them in there. I didn't want the boys to get into trouble. Quite frankly, they weren't having a very good time at the party.

    Chet : Not having a good time? Do you think they're having a good time being catatonic in a closet?

  • Chet : [pointing a rifle at Gary's face]  Freeze!

    Gary Wallace : Chet!

    Chet : [Hits Gary in the head with the rifle]  Where's my brother?

    Gary Wallace : Ow... uh, I don't know.

    Chet : [Hits Gary again]  You're dead meat pilgrim!

    [Points the rifle at Deb] 

    Gary Wallace : Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, that's her nose. Come on, Chet she's got nothing to do with this!

    Chet : Ok. You die, she walks out of here with a severe limp.

    [Points the rifle at Gary and Deb repeately, then hits both in the head] 

    Chet : I'll be back.

    [Leaves the room] 

    Gary Wallace : That's Wyatt's older brother Chet. He's kind of an asshole.

  • [Chet finds out that the house is a mess and his room is snowing. He blasts the door to his sister's room where Wyatt are Hilly were sleeping] 

    Wyatt : Hi Chet.

    Chet : [Grabs Wyatt]  What the hell is going on around here?

    Wyatt : It was an accident Chet.

    Chet : An accident? An accident? Do you realize it's snowing in my room goddammit!

    Wyatt : It's weird Chet. It's really weird Chet.

    Chet : It doesn't take a genius to figure that out monkey dick. Start talking little man.

    Wyatt : It's a really long story Chet. Gary and I were messing around with the computer Friday night. We decided to make a woman and we did and she went crazy and she messed up the whole house.

    Chet : Don't smart mouth me you wormy little shit!

    [Places Wyatt in a neck hold] 

    Hilly : Look just leave him alone!

    Chet : Stay out of this bimbo! It's a family matter.

    Wyatt : Look Chet. Find Lisa. She'll clear up everything.

    [Chet tightens his grip on Wyatt] 

    Wyatt : You can have my college money. And my social security, Chet.

    [Chet releases Wyatt] 

  • Chet : You're stewed, buttwad!

    Wyatt : [looks around; nervously]  Me?

    Chet : Do you know what time it is?

    Wyatt : [guessing]  Two?

    Chet : Time to play the fiddler.

    Wyatt : I was kind-of counting on you to be human about this...

    [Chet grabs him by his lapels and shoves him hard against the wall] 

  • Chet : This goes WAY beyond payment!

  • Chet : [to Wyatt]  Boy, I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for your ass right now.

  • [Wyatt is dragging the very drunk Gary up the stairs where they meet Chet] 

    Chet : The boozehounds returns!... What a joke.

  • Chet : It's time to pay the fiddler...

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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