The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything.
Moviegoer: I want what happened in the movie last week to happen this week; otherwise, what's life all about anyway?
Gil Shepherd: You can't learn to be real. It's like learning to be a midget.
Tom Baxter: Cecilia, it's clear how miserable you are with your husband. And if he hits you again, you tell me. I'd be forced to knock his teeth out.
Cecilia: I don't think that'd be such a good idea. He's big.
Tom Baxter: I'm sorry. It's written into my character to do it, so I do it.
Movie Patron: You can't talk to my wife that way - who do you think you are?
The Countess: I'm a genuine countess with a lot of dough, and if that's your wife she's a tub of guts.
Tom Baxter: I guess I have to get a job.
Cecilia: That's not gonna be so easy either - right now the whole country's out of work.
Tom Baxter: Well, then, we'll live on love. We'll have to make some concessions, but so what? We'll have each other.
Cecilia: That's movie talk.
Tom Baxter: I don't get hurt or bleed, hair doesn't muss; it's one of the advantages of being imaginary.
Tom Baxter: [to Cecilia] I love you. I'm honest, dependable, courageous, romantic, and a great kisser.
Gil Shepherd: And I'm real.
Gil Shepherd: I worked so hard to make him real.
Gil's Agent: Maybe you overdid it.
Gil Shepherd: I'll sue my dialogue coach, that louse.
Jason: What are you people doing here? We can't continue the story 'til Tom gets back.
Harold: Oh, we don't mind observing you all.
Harold's Wife: Yes. My husband is a student of the human personality.
Rita: Oh yeah, well we're not human.
Harold's Wife: It doesn't matter to Harold. He has trouble with humans.
Tom Baxter: [pauses after kissing Cecilia] Where's the fade-out?
Tom Baxter: Always when the kissing gets hot and heavy just before the lovemaking, there's a fadeout.
Cecilia: Then what?
Tom Baxter: Then we're making love in some private, perfect place.
Cecilia: That's not how it happens here.
Tom Baxter: What, there's no fade out?
Cecilia: No, but when you kissed me, I felt like my heart faded out. I closed my eyes, and I was in some private place.
Tom Baxter: How fascinating. You make love without fading out?
Tom Baxter: Well, I can't wait to see this!
Tom Baxter: Dad was a card. I never met him. He died before the movie began.
Cecilia: Last week I was unloved. Now, two people love me - and it's the same two people.
The Countess: Go with the real guy, honey, we're limited.
Rita: Go with Tom! He's got no flaws!
Delilah: Go with somebody, child, 'cause I's gettin' bored.
Tom Baxter: I was thinking about something.
Hooker: I can imagine.
Hooker 2: Two of us at the same time?
Tom Baxter: I was thinking about some very deep things. About God and his relation with Irving Saks and R.H. Levine. And I was thinking about life in general. The origin of everything we see about us. The finality of death and how almost magical it seems in the real world, as opposed to the world of celluloid and flickering shadows.
Hooker 3: [to Emma] Where did you find this clown?
Gil's Agent: Tom Baxter's come down off the screen and he's running around New Jersey!
Gil Shepherd: What are you talking about?
Gil's Agent: I just spoke to Raoul Hirsch. Nobody knows how it happened, but he's done it!
Gil Shepherd: How could he do that? It's not physically possible!
Gil's Agent: In New Jersey anything can happen.
The Countess: You know what they get for rape in a small town? Especially by a man in a pith helmet?
Tom Baxter: It's so impulsive, but... I'll come. Why not? What's life without a little risk taking? Who knows?
Monk: All right, go ahead. Just see how far you get. Go on, go on. You won't last. You'll see how it is in the real world. Go on. You'll come back. You're just bluff. You're all phony. You'll be back. It may take a week, it may take an hour, but you'll be back.
Rita: This is just disgusting! I am an heiress and I don't have to put up with this!
Jason: I'm bored with sitting around. I'm a dramatic character. I need forward motion.
Reporter: If he turns off the projector, you're liable to strand this, this Tom Baxter out in the world someplace. You want an extra guy running around?
Mr. Hirsch's Lawyer: As your lawyer, I advise you to get control of it fast. A character from one of your productions on the loose? Who knows what he's capable of? Robbery? Murder? I see lawsuits.
Gil Shepherd: Where's Tom?
Gil Shepherd: Well, he's my character. I created him.
Cecilia: Didn't the man who wrote the movie do that?
Tom Baxter: I still can't get over the fact that 24 hours ago I was in an Egyptian tomb. I didn't know any of you wonderful people, and here I am now! I'm on the verge of a madcap Manhattan weekend!
Jason: I hope you like your martinis very dry.
Tom Baxter: Oh, no, no thanks. I think I'll wait for that glass of champagne at the Copacabana.
Cecilia's Sister: The one that I liked is "Okay, America!"
Cecilia: Oh, yeah! I saw that twice. That was great! When she threatens to kill Lew Ayers.
Cecilia's Sister: I love Lew Ayers looks! Do you think he's married?
Cecilia: What do you mean married? Are you crazy? Yes, he's married to Ginger Rogers! God! They got married on a boat off the island of Catalina. They live in Beverly Hills and sometimes holiday in Spain. He used to be married to Lola Lane, but, Ginger's better for him. She's so lovely.
Cecilia: I hear there's some jobs opening up over at the ice factory.
Monk: No, there was nothin'. I was there.
Monk: Yeah. I was there. Right.
Cecilia: Harriet Rufus says all you guys do all day is just pitch pennies and make passes at the girls who walk by.
Monk: Harriet Rufus is a douche bag.
Henry: You don't understand what it's like to disappear! To be nothing! To be annihilated! *Don't* - turn the projector off.
Cecilia: Shouldn't you be getting back?
Tom Baxter: I wanna live. I wanna be free to make my own choices.
Tom Baxter: Slip away from your husband tonight. Meet me here. I'll wait. I want to learn about the real world with you.
Cecilia: I can't.
Tom Baxter: Well, look at it this way. How many times is a man so taken with a woman that he walks off the screen to get her?
Reporter: You should turn the projector off and shut down. This could be the work of Reds or anarchists!
Movie Goer: I saw the movie just last week. This is not what happens?
Reporter: Where is the Tom Baxter character?
Theater Manager: You'll get your money back.
Movie Goer: I want what happened in the movie last week to happen this week. Otherwise, what's life all about anyway?
Cecilia: It's been hard for everyone. You know, living in a world with no jobs and wars. You probably never even heard of the Great War.
Tom Baxter: I'm sorry. I missed it.
Cecilia: Yeah. People get old and sick and never find true love.
Tom Baxter: You know, where I come from, people don't disappoint. They're consistent. They're always - reliable.
Cecilia: You don't find that kind in real life.
Gil Shepherd: I created the character.
Gil's Agent: That's my point! As your agent, I would hate to see anything happen to your career now that it's starting to move.
Gil Shepherd: Like - like what?
Gil's Agent: Who knows? There's a double of you on the loose. What's he up to? Is he robbing banks? Is he raping broads?
Gil Shepherd: Is he?
Gil's Agent: Who knows?
Gil's Agent: You've got to fly down there and check into it, quick. Right now it's only one movie house, but who knows?
Gil Shepherd: I'm afraid to fly.
Gil's Agent: Gil, this is the scandal of all time. You know what happened to Fatty Arbuckle's career?
Gil Shepherd: I'll fly. I'll fly.
Tom Baxter: You look so beautiful in this light.
Cecilia: But you're not real.
Tom Baxter: [Tom kisses Cecilia] Was that real enough for you?
Cecilia: You kiss perfectly. It's what I dreamed kissing would be like.
Tom Baxter: Come away with me to Cairo.
Tom Baxter: We'll live in the desert. Oh, the blue-gold light of sunset falling over your hair...
Cecilia: I'm sorry. I'm a little tipsy - from the cham -
[Tom leans in for another kiss]
Larry: I want to go to! I want to be free! I want out!
Raoul Hirsch: I'm warning you! That's Communist talk!
Mr. Hirsch's Lawyer: The real ones want their lives fiction and the fictional ones want their lives real.
Gil Shepherd: He's fictional. You wanna waste time with a fictional character? I mean, you're a sweet girl. You deserve a human.
Cecilia: But Tom's perfect.
Gil Shepherd: Yeah, but he's not real. What good is perfect if the man's not real?
Tom Baxter: I can learn to be real. It's easy. You know, there's nothing to it. Being real comes very naturally to me.
Gil Shepherd: You can't learn to be real. It's like learning to be a midget. Its not a thing you can learn. Some of us are real, some are not.
Tom Baxter: What do you do, Emma?
Emma: I'm a working girl.
Tom Baxter: And what do you do, you delicate creature?
Emma: Anything that'll make a buck.
Tom Baxter: Well, we Baxters never really had to worry about money.
Emma: I'll bet. You wanna come along with me?
Tom Baxter: Where to, Emma?
Emma: Where I work. I think you might have a good time.
Tom Baxter: Sounds enchanting. I'm up for new experiences.
Emma: I may be able to help.
Tom Baxter: I'd be surprised if all of you ladies weren't married soon, especially by the way you dress. Its so seductive to a man.
Hooker 3: You like these stockings, Tom?
Tom Baxter: Oh, they're just divine. What kind of a club is this, anyhow?
Hooker 3: God, Tom, you're a scream.
Emma: He's terribly sweet.
Hooker: He is! I wouldn't mind doin' him for nothin'.
Hooker 2: Me neither. Plus he's cute.
Hooker 3: Okay, you can count me in. Come on, Tom. We're going to take you into the bedroom and give you an experience you'll never forget.
Emma: And its on us!
Tom Baxter: Well, I came her for a new experience.
Tom Baxter: I'm in love with someone else.
Emma: We're not talking about in love. We're talking about making love.
Tom Baxter: But I love Cecilia.
Emma: Well, so what? Marry Cecilia. This is just for fun.
Tom Baxter: I couldn't do that, Emma. Ladies, my gracious! Look. Don't think I'm not appreciative of your offer. But, I must say the concept is totally new to me. But I'm just - I'm hopelessly head over heels in love with Cecilia. She is all I want. My devotion is to her, my loyalties. Every breath she takes makes my heart dance.
Emma: This guy just kills me. Are there any other guys like you out there?
Larry: I want to go too! I wanna be free! I want out!
Mr. Hirsch's Lawyer: I'm warning you, that's Communist talk!
Hooker: Do you wanna tie me up?
Tom Baxter: [laughs] You're funny! She's funny! The absurd non-sequitur.
Theater Manager: Oh Cecilia, be careful! You all right?
Theater Manager: You're gonna like this one, it's better than last week's, more romantic.
Theater Manager: Cecilia, what are you doing here?
Cecilia: Meeting Gil Shepherd.
Theater Manager: They all gone.
Cecilia: Th - whaddaya, whaddaya mean?
Theater Manager: They went back to Hollywood.
Cecilia: Gil too?
Theater Manager: Mr Shepherd, yeah. Soon as Tom Baxter went back up on the movie screen - couldn't wait to get outta here. He said this was a close call for his career. I think he's gonna play Charles Lindbergh.
Theater Manager: Don't forget, Cecilia, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers start today.
Rita: Hey, open the champagne. I feel like getting plushed to the scuppers!
Cecilia: Ginger used to be married to Jack Culpepper, who I think took out Ruth Chatterton before she married George Brent.
Diner Boss: Ladies, there's a depression on. There's a lot of other people that would like this job if you can't handle it.
Cecilia: I can handle it. It's okay.
Cecilia: You wanna go to the movies tonight? There's an early show.
Monk: I can't. I can't.
Cecilia: How come?
Monk: The guys are comin' over tonight.
Monk: What, you don't like it?
Cecilia: Well, all you do is drink and play dice and I wind up getting smacked.
Monk: I gotta get even, don't I?
Cecilia: You never pay attention to me any more. So I thought, if we could go to the movies tonight, you know, you could forget your troubles a little.
Monk: Forget my troubles. Cecilia, you like sitting through that junk, okay? I'm gonna shoot crap, okay? Go to the movie by yourself.
Tom Baxter: I'm doing a little archeological work.
Rita: A real life explorer!
Tom Baxter: I've come in search of the Purple Rose of Cairo. It's an old legend that's fascinated me for years. A Pharaoh had a rose painted purple for his queen and now the story says purple roses grow wild at her tomb!
Rita: How romantic.
Tom Baxter: What's like without a little risk-taking. Who knows? A fortune teller predicted I'd fall in love in New York.
Cecilia's Sister: So what were you thinking about?
Cecilia: Oh, a penthouse. The desert. Kissing on a dance floor.
Cecilia's Sister: So you did go to the movies last night after all?
Cecilia: The people were so beautiful. They spoke so cleverly and do such romantic things.
Cecilia: You don't love me.
Monk: Baby, come on.
Cecilia: You don't. You treat me bad and you beat up on me.
Monk: Look, I hit you when you get out of line. I never just hit you, I warn you first. And then if you don't shape up, you get whacked.
Cecilia: There's a new movie at the Jewel.
Cecilia's Sister: I didn't even get to see last week's.
Cecilia: Oh, you missed it? It was wonderful. I love Jane Froman. James Melton plays - first, he's a hotel porter. Then he becomes a radio singer and then an opera singer. The music was just beautiful.
Delilah: Miss Rita, somethin' on your mind? Cause you ain't been yourself since you come back from them pyramids.
Rita: No, it's nothing. I'll be okay.
Delilah: I don't suspect it has anything to do with that explorer fellow, Mr. Tom Baxter.
Rita: Now, why would you say that?
Delilah: The way he speaks, all romantic-like.
Rita: Yeah. Come on, Delilah. Draw my bath.
Delilah: Yes, ma'am. Now, will you be wantin' the big bubbles or the asses' milk?
Tom Baxter: ...Here I am now. I'm on the verge of a madcap - Manhattan - weekend. My God, you must really love this picture.
Tom Baxter: You've been here all day. And I've seen you here twice before.
Cecilia: You mean me?
Tom Baxter: Yes, you! You! This is the fifth time you're seeing this.
Rita: Henry, come here, quickly.
Tom Baxter: I gotta speak to you.
[walks from the film, through the screen, into the movie theater]
Henry: Listen, old sport, you're on the wrong side.
Rita: Tom, get back here! We're in the middle of a story.
Tom Baxter: You go on. I want to have a look around. You go on without me.
Tom Baxter: Let's get out of here and go somewhere where we can talk.
Cecilia: But you're in the movie.
Tom Baxter: Wrong! Cecilia, I'm free. After 2,000 performances of the same monotonous routine, I'm free.
Theater Manager: Can't you go on? There's an audience.
Rita: How? Tom was the lynchpin of the story.
Jason: Right. Whoever you are, you see, sir, although this has been basically my story, Tom moves the expedition along. He lays out the facts...
Henry: What do you mean your story? It's not your story. Its the story of a man's quest for self fulfillment.
Jason: It's the story of a complex tortured soul who has...
Rita: It's the story of the affect of money on true romance.
Jason: I don't see money coming into it?
Rita: My upbringing. My wealth! My private schools.
Henry: I'm the one who marries royalty. I'm the one...
Rita: Nobody cares.
Henry: What do you mean they don't care?
Rita: They wouldn't sell a ticket if it was your story.
Theater Manager: Stop arguing!
Rita: And do what?
Usherette: Maybe you should just turn the projector off.
Henry: No! No, don't turn the projector off! No, no! It gets black. We disappear.
Delilah: What the hell is going on? Is somebody tryin' to hustle me?
Cecilia: Even though you're not the main character, you're the one you look at.
Tom Baxter: You don't think I'm the main character?
Cecilia: Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. No, I think you're positively essential. In fact, every time I saw the movie, I kept thinking "Tom Baxter's so handsome."
The Countess: Where is everybody? Weren't we meeting at the Copacabana?
Henry: Tom's gone.
The Countess: What?
Henry: He left the film.
Rita: The bum walked out on us.
The Countess: But, the Copa's where the two of us meet. I try to get him to marry me.
Larry: Forget it. I'm tired of marrying you every night, anyway. We never even get to the bedroom.
The Countess: Where did Tom go?
Rita: Into the real world.
Henry: That two-bit minor character leaves and we're stuck!
Larry: I wonder what it's like out there?
The Countess: They don't look like they're having too much fun to me.
Variety Reporter: You were great in "The Purple Rose of Cairo."
Gil Shepherd: Thanks. I was - did you know I was singled out by all the East Coast critics? Mm-hm. "The New York Times" said that I was - I had almost too smouldering a quality just to play comedy.
Raoul Hirsch: If anybody wants me, I'll be in the bathroom. On the floor. Weeping.
Tom Baxter: It's beautiful. But I'm not sure exactly what it is.
Cecilia: Oh, this is a church. You do believe in God, don't you?
Tom Baxter: Meaning?
Cecilia: The reason for everything, the world, the universe.
Tom Baxter: Oh, I think I know what you mean. The two men who wrote "The Purple Rose of Cairo." Irving Sachs and R.H. Levine, they're writers who collaborate on films.
Cecilia: No. No, I'm talking about something much bigger than that. No, think for a minute. A reason for everything. Otherwise it'd be like a movie with no point - and no happy ending.
Cecilia: You're not just a pretty face, you're also a peach of an actor. Really. I've seen you. I've seen you a lot. You've got something.
Gil Shepherd: Is that your opinion?
Cecilia: Sure, and I see all the movies. You've got - oh, how can I describe it? You've got a magical glow.
Gil Shepherd: Oh, boy. Oh, oh. To hear that from a real person. That is just - it's not one of those movie colony bimbos, you know, with the fancy dresses, filling you full of hot air.
Tom Baxter: Do you share my sense of wonderment at the very fabric of being? The smell of a rose? Real food? Sensuous music?
Cecilia: You should do a musical, really.
Gil Shepherd: You know, I did one bit in one once. It's...
Cecilia: I know. I saw "Dancing Doughboys."
Gil Shepherd: "Dancing Doughboys." You remembered!
Cecilia: That was great. I remember you turned to Ina Beasley and said, "I won't be going south with you this winter."
Gil Shepherd: That's - right! Right! "I won't be going south with you this winter. We have a little score to settle on the other side of the Atlantic."
Cecilia: "Does this mean I won't be seeing you ever again?"
Gil Shepherd: "Well, 'ever' is a long time."
Cecilia: "When you leave, don't look back."
Gil Shepherd: You remember that perfectly. And then I took her in my arms and I kissed her, knowing it was for the last time. God, you're beautiful, Cecilia.
Cecilia: Was it fun, kissing Ina Beasley?
Gil Shepherd: Oh, you know, it was a movie kiss. We professionals can put that stuff on just like that.
Cecilia: It looked like you loved her.
[Gil kisses Cecilia]
Hooker 2: Don't be offended. I didn't mean to...
Cecilia: I'm not offended. I'm just confused. I'm married. I just met a wonderful man. He's fictional, but you can't have everything.
Cecilia's Sister: Well, wait a minute. Let's - let's just readjust our definitions. Let's redefine ourselves as the real world and *them* as the world of illusion and shadow. You see? We're reality, they're a dream.
The Countess: You'd better calm down. You've been up on the screen flickering too long.
Tom Baxter: Look, I don't wanna talk any more about what's real and what's illusion. Life's too short to spend time thinking about life. Let's just live it!
Kitty Haynes: What the Hell is this? We're supposed to meet and marry. Who's the skirt?
Tom Baxter: My fiancee.
Henry: He met her in New Jersey.
Kitty Haynes: What is this?
Jason: Kitty, she's real.