The Muppet Movie (1979) Poster

Mel Brooks: Professor Max Krassman



  • [Professor Max Krassman has just put Kermit in the electronic beanie] 

    Miss Piggy : [desperate]  Please! Please! Not my frog, please!

    Max Krassman : Say goodbye to your frog, pig!

    Miss Piggy : Why should I?

    Max Krassman : Because in 10 seconds, he won't know *you* from kosher bacon.

    Miss Piggy : [furious]  That does it!

  • Max Krassman : It is important to remember that you have to hold on to your hat.

    Doc Hopper : What for?

    Max Krassman : When a German scientist tells you to hold on to your hat, it's not casual conversation. HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT! HAT! HOLD!

    [Doc Hopper grabs his hat brim] 

    Max Krassman : Good.

  • Doc Hopper : I'll be back later to pick up what's left of the frog.

    Max Krassman : What's left of the frog? You can have everything - excuse the brain!

  • [explaining his machine] 

    Max Krassman : We take your friend, the little F-O-R-G, put him in the chair, clamp on the terminals, drop the electronic "yarmulke," and then throw what we call in German - THE SVITCH!


    Max Krassman : Yes, my friend, soon it'll be a hot time in the old skull tonight!

    [turns off the switch] 

    Max Krassman : Thank you, Herr Machine.

  • Max Krassman : What the heck's going on here? A pig that goes bananas? What is this, a luau?

  • [putting Kermit in the machine] 

    Max Krassman : Oh, will you stop whimpering? Go out like a frog, not a little toad. Okay, Herr Machine, this is big time! Ready to go to work? Hand clamps! Foot clamps!

    [locks Kermit in] 

    Max Krassman : Ha, ha, ha, you can struggle all you want now, frog, it'll do you very little *good*! And now, it's time to drop the electronic beanie. Soon you'll have enough voltage coursing through your little frog brain to light up Cincinatti!

  • Doc Hopper : [about Krassman's machine]  What does it do?

    Max Krassman : What does it do? What does it do? It turns the brains into guacamole!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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