An imaginary conversation between John Huston and Humphrey Bogart..........
Huston and Bogart are enjoying a warm summer cruise, replete with cigars and brandies, just off Catalina on Bogart's boat -- Santana. Huston speaks.
Huston: "I've got a great idea for a new movie, Bogie."
Bogart: "Let's hear it, John."
Huston: "I'm going to remake all of our movies together -- 'Casablanca,' 'Across the Pacific,' 'Key Largo,' 'Treasure of the Sierra Madre,' 'The African Queen' -- into one movie! What do you think?"
Bogart: "Sounds interesting. Go on."
Huston: "Then I'm going to add elements from some of your other movies -- 'The Maltese Falcon,' 'To Have and Have Not,' 'The Big Sleep,' 'Passage to Marseilles,' 'Dark Passage,' 'The Night of the Iguana,' 'Prizzi's Honor'....."
Bogart: "'The Night of the Iguana?!' 'Prizzi's Honor?!' What movies of mine are those?"
Huston: "Oops! Sorry. I forgot. I haven't made those movies yet."
Bogart: "That's OK, John. Here, have another brandy. Go on."
Huston: "Well, you see, Bogie, the idea is to take all of the best elements from all these movies and combine them into one all-time blockbuster Humphrey Bogart movie."
Bogart: "You're beginning to get my attention. Keep going."
Huston: "Casting. For your wife, I've got in mind this beautiful, young Italian actress -- Gina Lollosomethingorother. She even speaks English! And the public won't mind that she's more than 30 years younger than you. They never do. And for your OTHER love interest, how does Jennifer Jones sound to you?"
Bogart: "Hey! I get TWO beautiful love interests in ONE movie. WOW! Now you're REALLY talking my language, John-Boy. Refill?"
Huston: "Thanks, Bogie. I know I can get Lorre for it and Morley's available, too. They're two of the main supporting characters."
Bogart: "This is just sounding better and better all the time. How soon can I read the script?"
Huston: "Just as soon as we write it."
Bogart: "Who's 'we'?"
Huston: "I've hooked up with this unknown young writer to write it. Name's Capote."
Huston: "No, no. It's pronounced 'ca-PO-te.' I guess he's Italian. He's from New Orleans or someplace like that. First name's Truman."
Bogart: "They named him after the president?! How old is he -- six?"
Huston: "No, no, no, Bogie. Truman isn't the only Truman named Truman. I mean, president. I mean, person. Oh, Bogie, you're getting me all mixed up."
Bogart: "OK, OK -- relax, John. If this 'Kaput' guy is good enough for you, he's good enough for me." By the way, what are we calling this stupendonova, anyway?"
Huston: "Dead Heat with the Devil."
Bogart: "I think I'd much prefer to beat the devil."
Huston: "Good idea! We'll change it to 'Beat the Devil.'"
Bogart: "Well, John, the sun's going down. We'd better head for home. One more cigar and brandy for the trip back?"
Huston: "Sure, Bogie. Let's celebrate. We're going to make the best Bogart movie that has EVER been made."
Bogart: "You said it, John. This baby absolutely cannot miss."
Oh ..... yes ..... it most certainly can!
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