Sgt. Joe Friday: This is the city: Los Angeles, California. I work here. I'm a cop.
Sgt. Joe Friday: We could've piled up a hundred years of great policemen and great detectives: men with honor and brains and guts. You tore down every best part of them. The people who read it in the papers, they're gonna overlook the fact that WE got you; that we washed our own laundry and we cleared this thing up. They're gonna overlook all the good. They'll overlook every last good cop in the country. But they'll remember YOU. Because you're a bad cop.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Officer Frank Smith: Christmas cards, huh? A little late, aren't you?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Well, I was going to send them out Monday, but we had that stakeout.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Do the youngsters know what these goofballs are made of, son?