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The Miracle Woman (1931) Poster

Quotes

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Hornsby: Religion's like everything else. It's great if you can sell it, no good if you give it away.

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Hornsby: You think you beat those people out there just now, don't you? Well you didn't. They beat you. Listen, there's only one way to lick a mob, join 'em. Now, wait a minute, sister. Let me finish. You're not a hypocrite if you admit it. The thing is, being on the winning side. Play percentage. Most of the trouble in this world comes from people who have convictions. The answer is: don't have any! If you have none, you can assume the ones that happen to pay. You're sore at those people out there, because they fired your old man, that killed him. You want to get back at them, don't you? Well, I can tell you how to do it. And get famous. And get rich. And, what's more, get even! Interested?

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Hornsby: Hiccups and hallelujahs won't mix!

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[In the Temple of Happiness.]

Florence: Outside the pulse of the world beats with hate! Hate! But here with you there is a heartbeat of love!

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Florence: Leave if you like. My father preached to empty hearts. I don't mind talking to empty pews.

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Florence: What God? Who's God? Your's? This isn't a House of God. This is a meeting place for hypocrites!

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Florence: Some of you have listened to my father for twenty years and you can't remember one word he said to you. You will remember this! You subscribed to temperance and I can tell you the names of your bootleggers. You pretend to be decent and I know which of you are cheating wives and husbands. Shall I call out your names? Why are you running away from me? Are you afraid of the truth? Is that why you got rid of my father? You are thieves, killers, adulterers, blasphemers and liars six days a week! And on the seventh day you are hypocrites. Go on! Get out! All of you! Get out so I can open these windows and let some fresh air into this church.

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John Carson: Who's that coon shouter that broadcasts over the radio every day?

Mrs. Higgins: Coon shouter? Oh, do you mean Sister Fallon?

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Gussie: If he bawls me out, I'll quit!

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Hornsby: The crummiest crew of come-ons I ever hired!

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Hornsby: We cook up a sob routine for you that could melt a mountain and you put it like you are reading out of a telephone book. How do you expect to get the hang of this trade with your mush full of gum? Bernhardt couldn't do it! And you ain't Bernhardt! You ain't even one of the Cherry Sisters!

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Hornsby: You've been working too hard, honey. You've been giving those appleknockers too much for their money! Now you take a nice little nap and Daddy will take off your shoes. And I'll get the clowns together and we'll make whoopee! I'm crazy about you when you're mad, baby. You look more beautiful.

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Bill Welford: Hello Chief! Hello Sister! Go right ahead. Don't mind me. No see-ee. No hear-ee, and no speak-ee. I know what you're going to say: No think-ee.

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Hornsby: Come over to my joint and meet some carnival cuties. They'll make you forget all about money.

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John Carson: Mrs. Higgins, this is Sister Fallon.

Mrs. Higgins: Oh, sure. And I suppose you're Saint John and I'm Martha Washington.

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John Carson: Would you like to hear some really good music?

Florence: I'd love to.

John Carson: Allow me to present my two friends: Pagliacci the clown and Sambo the hoofer.

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John Carson: You know what this is?

Florence: It looks like King Tut's will.

John Carson: It's called braille. Kind of like a morse code, only the dots are raised and you read it with your fingers. Watch: "A book of verses underneath the bough." Here, you try it.

Florence: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou beside me.

John Carson: Oh, you faker! You're not reading. You're remembering.

Florence: Yes. But, I could learn it. It's just like shorthand.

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Hornsby: The cops are screwy. It's a plain case of suicide.

Florence: Hornsby, did you have anything to do with this?

Hornsby: Me? Why, I haven't seen Welford in over a week. I suppose they'll be a couple of dicks around to see us.

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Florence: I want to play square.

Hornsby: Then why don't you play square with me? Do you think I'm blind? What becomes of you after services every night? Where do you go?

Florence: Where I please. You don't own me.

Hornsby: No? But, I hold sort of a first mortgage. And it won't be safe for anyone to try to horn in! You made a squawk around here about your being a prisoner. Sure you are! And I'm going to keep you a prisoner, because I'm nuts about you! I fell for you the first time I ever saw you.

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John Carson: Are you a teetotaler?

Florence: No, not annoyingly so.

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Hornsby: We're going away. On account of your health.

Florence: There's nothing the matter with me.

Hornsby: Oh, yes. You're overworked. You're on the brink of a nervous collapse. Don't take my word for it. Look. I went out at four o'clock this morning especially to get a copy of the paper for you.

[shows Florence a paper where the headline reads, "Sister Fallon To Go To Holy Land."]

Hornsby: Quitting on doctor's orders. And I'm the doctor.

Florence: Hornsby, you're going to send out a denial of this story right away.

Hornsby: How come?

Florence: I'm not going to Palestine.

Hornsby: Of course, you're not. The newspapers think its Palestine. My idea of the Holy Land is the South of France. Monte Carlo. Champagne! Roulette! And your old pal Hornsby around - just to keep it from being a Cook's tour.

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Florence: Don't you envy me? I'm going to the River Jordan and maybe swim in it. And then to the Wailing Wall, I've read so much about, in Jerusalem. I suppose I'll have to do some plain and fancy wailing. How do you wail? Ooooo! Come on, you taught me how to laugh. Now, teach me how to wail.

John Carson: My wailer isn't working tonight.

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John Carson: I have no claim on you. You know how I - how you - If you wanted to stay, you need never see me again.

John Carson: Now, you're not going to go Hamlet again, are you?

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Florence: One of these days I'll be coming back like a bad penny.

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Hornsby: Come on, kid. Buck up. I know how you feel. I'd be blue myself if it wasn't for the good times we're going to have together - in the Riviera, baby. The only thing blue down there is the Mediterranean and, sister, how blue that is. It won't be long now, honey.

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Hornsby: [Final lines] She gave up a million bucks for that. The poor sap!

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