After a bad night down the pub failing to pick up women, Richie is depressed because nobody wants to have sex with him. He finds a 'Sex Spray' that promises to make him attractive to women, and he and Eddie return to the pub to see if the stuff actually works.
Richie and Eddie are visited by a man from the Gas board. Afraid that their pipeline from next door is about to be rumbled they desperately try to cover their tracks. Murder, cannibalism and bus surfing are possible solutions.
Eddie comes home from a very bad day at work and Richie finds Eddie is not paying the rent and has only got $11.80 which he has spent on a adult magazine. But Richie finds Eddie has put on a bet on the Miss World contest on TV.
After inheriting from his recently deceased Auntie Olga £600.00. Richie and Eddie heads off down the funfair, where Richie's wallet gets stolen, and Richie learns from a fortune-teller that he is going to die in 3 nights. Eddie and Richie set out to prevent Richie's fate and Richie is visited by the Grim Repear who is in the form of Eddie.
Richie and Eddie are left in charge of their landlord Mr. Harrison's shop as Mr. Harrison leaves to attend a funeral. But Eddie decides he'd rather watch a game of cricket and is not going to let relaxing on Sunday stop them. Richie reveals to Eddie that he is half red Indian who can predict the weather and Eddie thinks it has something to do with last night's curry.
It is Richie's birthday and Richie is planning a big party for all his friends, Eddie's friends and all the women. But Richie has accident whilst putting up the decorations and breaks his leg and ends up in a wheelchair. Only Eddie's mates Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog shows up at the party and Richie learns he has no friends and he is willing to let being a wheelchair ruin his birthday.
Richie and Eddie joins Lily Lineker's Love Bureau dating service in hoping of finding the perfect women. Eddie gets a date with Sarah Ferguson, whilst Richie finds himself on a date with Lady Natasha Letita Sarah Jane Wettesley Olstomsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Oblomov Dub, Countess of Moldavia. Richie pretends to be a eccentric millionaire and Eddie plays along by pretending to be his butler.
When Eddie returns home all drunk on a bottle of Old Spice, Richie and Eddie find their flat being burgled and manages to catch one of the burglars. When Richie and Eddie ties up the Burgular with sellotape, Richie and Eddie tries to think what to do with him and the loot he has burgled from other houses. Should they kill the Burgular than hand him over to the local police? or kill him or should they keep the loot for themselves and move away to the Bahamas?
Richie and Eddie are depressed when their TV set is taken away when they fail to pay the rent and cannot think of anything to keep themselves occupied. Richie decides to challenge Eddie at playing some games, including "How much custard can you put in your underpants" and chess. Richie and Eddie decide to play chess by using various items in the house to replace the missing pieces.
After taking part in a identity parade at the local police station where Spudgun is being accused of stealing his mother Mrs. Potato's handbag, Richie and Eddie heads down to the Lamb and Flag pub where Richie gets into a argument with a one-legged Falklands war veteran, by pretending he also fought in the Falklands war and Richie and Eddie places a bet on a horse Sad Ken in a horse-race and gets the money from antiques dealer Ted in exchange for the one-legged Falklands war veteran's false leg.
It's Christmas day and Richie is cooking the dinner to which Dave Hedgehog and Spudgun are invited. Dinner is not up to Michelin standard, but Richie's day improves when he finds out he is the son of God.
It is Halloween. After losing the "Spot the Balls" competition and being visited by trick or treaters, Richie and Eddie decide to put on their own Halloween party, where they go off trick or treating. Richie is dressed up as a devil and Eddie is dressed up as a banana, armed with an electric cattle prod, they go to get some money for beer. When Richie and Eddie invite Spudgun and Hedgehog back to the flat, Richie decides to raise the Devil so he can have sex with girls, in exchange for his soul but the Devil arrives in the form of Dave Hedgehog's daughter, Doreen...
Eddie has been spending a lot of time in his room and Richie finds that he has been printing fake money. Unfortunately local counterfeiter "The Skullcrusher" is not amused and demands money. Luckily the pub quiz night could be their salvation.
Eddie steals a car belonging to rugby captain 'Cannonball' Taffy O'Jones and in it are the hotel tickets for Cannonball and his new bride. Intent on having a free holiday Richie and Eddie turn up at the honeymoon hotel though Eddie is not happy at having to impersonate a woman and share a bed with Richie. The pair are even less happy when 'Cannonball' Taffy O'Jones finally catches up with them looking for retribution.
It is the annual Hammersmith carnival where the local residents take part in riots and Richie and Eddie find watching the Carnival from their flat window is the best seats to watch the riots. After going looting, Eddie learns Richie has stolen a BBC camera and they decide to record a prime-time current affairs discussion program and hilarious accidents so they can make money, unaware that the video tape is a dirty video of Prime Minister John Major.