Real Sexy Directors' Editions

by sairport | created - 27 Mar 2016 | updated - 10 months ago | Public

Real Sexy Directors' Editions [The Sexiest 100: 100SEXY] 100sexy Directors' Movies, TV Dramas by 100NYHH [Newest Youngest Hottest Hollywood] [100 RES]

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1. Poison Ivy (1992)

R | 90 min | Drama, Thriller

51 Metascore

A seductive teen befriends an introverted high school student and schemes her way into the lives of her wealthy family.

Director: Katt Shea | Stars: Drew Barrymore, Sara Gilbert, Tom Skerritt, Cheryl Ladd

Votes: 16,763 | Gross: $1.83M

Our fav little 16 yo weird-nosed cokehead Drew Barrymore, and 16 yo trailer trash Sara Gilbert star in this first installation of the seductive series that gets my slit started like a slutty inverted sausage on Oktoberfest. This movie is all about teenaged bad girls, and horny middle-aged daddies. We find out that Drew likes Sarah's daddy, and wants to replace the suicidal mommy, but when Sara walks in on doggy-style standing up sex with dear old dad, she gets jello like there's no tomorrow. Someone has to die at this point, butt I don't wanna ruin the super-sticky ending. Bam!

2. Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996 TV Movie)

PG | 91 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

Sent by her parents to live with her two eccentric aunts, Sabrina Sawyer discovers on her 16th birthday that she's a witch.

Director: Tibor Takács | Stars: Melissa Joan Hart, Sherry Miller, Charlene Fernetz, Michelle Beaudoin

Votes: 6,483

We all know Clarissa had to grow up sometime, so even though she had just turned 18, Melissa Joan Hart plays a sweet little blonde who has just turned sweet 16. And what a sweet body she has in this Showtime television movie. Apparently, when a witch turns 16, she comes into her powers, and can manipulate people and events whenever she wants. This is girl-power baby! Another thing worth mentioning, is that our MJH's butt was in nearly full effect at age 18, but her bam-bam boozies weren't even close to being fully developed. You'll have to watch season 1 and 2 of Sabrina the television series to watch this witchs' body turn into a real woman. Don't think that girls do not develop after age 18. All girls have that moment when we think that our mosquito bites may never develop into a handful, and when it happens that is when we finally put out. This is yet another example on this movie list that proves that a girl can still develop boobies up to the age of 21. Big ole' boobies, a flat stomach, and a ass that I would kill to squeeze is what Sabrina is all about. Don't miss the infamous pool party bikini scene, and the dressing room bikini changing montage with her slightly less hot Jew friend which really starts the g-juices flowin'. Oh Melissa, we share the same name and we must have so much more in common. Please hit me up for a date, and I will take you to Heaven and back baby. You don't need no man after you meet my techniques hun. Bam!

3. Rome (2005–2007)

TV-MA | 52 min | Action, Drama, History

A down-to-earth account of the lives of both illustrious and ordinary Romans set in the last days of the Roman Republic.

Stars: Kevin McKidd, Ray Stevenson, Polly Walker, Kerry Condon

Votes: 149,277

4. Clueless (1995)

PG-13 | 97 min | Comedy, Romance

68 Metascore

Shallow, rich and socially successful Cher is at the top of her Beverly Hills high school's pecking scale. Seeing herself as a matchmaker, Cher first coaxes two teachers into dating each other.

Director: Amy Heckerling | Stars: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd

Votes: 170,129 | Gross: $56.63M

Alicia Silverstone trots out her infamous pouty lip in this sexy teen-tramp film about a self-absorbed hottie with the million dollar body who needs to get off any which way butt loose. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing loose on that body. At 18, Alicia really knows how to please my P when she talks about putting things in her mouth to make sure that boys think about sex. Cher is dumb as hell, but stays sizzling hot in her super-tight preppy-clothes for the hole damn movie. Don't worry, Amanda Seyfried and Brittany Murphy join the gorgeous gina-clan, so we can watch all three of their young beautiful bodies walk around on screen for 97 minutes. Oh Alicia, why won't you return my nasty twitter tweets anymore? This is an 8 star ovary box-office blowout. Bam!

5. Olga (2004)

141 min | Biography, Drama, History

Based upon the true story of Olga Benário, the German-born wife of Brazilian communist leader Luís Carlos Prestes. During the dictatorship of Getúlio Vargas (1930-1945) she was arrested and... See full summary »

Director: Jayme Monjardim | Stars: Camila Morgado, Caco Ciocler, Luís Melo, Eliane Giardini

Votes: 3,066

6. Viktor (2014)

Not Rated | 134 min | Action, Drama, Thriller

27 Metascore

After spending seven years in jail for an art heist, Frenchman Victor Lambert returns to Moscow to uncover the circumstances behind his son Jeremy's brutal murder. He is backed by his lover... See full summary »

Director: Philippe Martinez | Stars: Gérard Depardieu, Elizabeth Hurley, Evgeniya Akhremenko, Andrey Da!

Votes: 432

7. 4:48 (2014)

R | 88 min | Drama

A young, aspiring actress finds the role of a lifetime, but she becomes so obsessed with her new role as Sarah Kane that she begins exploring her sexuality and provoking extremes in her personal life.

Director: Jacky Katu | Stars: Aurélie Houguenade, Jean-Marie Galey, David Chausse, Ynda Schulberg

Votes: 204

8. House of Cards (2013–2018)

TV-MA | 51 min | Drama

A Congressman works with his equally conniving wife to exact revenge on the people who betrayed him.

Stars: Kevin Spacey, Michel Gill, Robin Wright, Kate Mara

Votes: 451,773

9. The Whistleblower (2010)

R | 112 min | Biography, Crime, Drama

59 Metascore

A drama based on the experiences of Kathryn Bolkovac, a Nebraska cop who served as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and outed the U.N. for covering up a sex trafficking scandal.

Director: Larysa Kondracki | Stars: Rachel Weisz, Monica Bellucci, Vanessa Redgrave, David Strathairn

Votes: 30,904 | Gross: $1.12M

10. Poison Ivy: The Secret Society (2008 TV Movie)

Not Rated | 95 min | Drama, Thriller

After a mysterious death of a young college student occurs late one night at a prestigious New England college, Danielle "Daisy" Brooks nevertheless decides to escape her small town life ... See full summary »

Director: Jason Hreno | Stars: Miriam McDonald, Shawna Waldron, Ryan Kennedy, Yan-Kay Crystal Lowe

Votes: 1,907

OMG LOL, we all got to see little Miriam McDonald (13-20 yo) grow up on "Degrassi: The Next Generation", where she takes girl power to a whole new level by associating girl-power with stripping nude in front of the entire class to protest an energy drink, bj's in a stranger's van, hj's in the school parking lot, and getting mad at your step-dad for not staring at your boobs when you get out of the shower. I love the neo-feminist movement, as long as it gets the job done. Now, Miriam is 20 years old in this mature mov, and she has no problem getting used and penetrated by a penis while she shows us her fully developed natural watermelons. Old McDonald had a farm and clit-flick is her Name-O. This big breasted hottie nearly gave me blue-ovaries until I finger-slapped my sloppy slit for seven minutes during the sex scene. I was so worn out, I let my right middle finger stay in there baking like a Thanksgiving turkey for 2 about hours until I was able to finally take a shower and clean off all the plum juice. Bam!

11. Grey's Anatomy (2005– )

TV-14 | 41 min | Drama, Romance

A drama centered on the personal and professional lives of five surgical interns and their supervisors.

Stars: Ellen Pompeo, Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr., Justin Chambers

Votes: 234,157

12. Doctor Who (2005– )

TV-PG | 45 min | Adventure, Drama, Family

The further adventures in time and space of the alien adventurer known as the Doctor and their companions from planet Earth.

Stars: Jodie Whittaker, Peter Capaldi, Pearl Mackie, Matt Smith

Votes: 193,779

13. Seven Women (2003– )

1,084 min | Drama, History, Romance

The greatest civil war Brazil ever faced by the point of view of the seven women of the separatist leader's family.

Stars: Thiago Lacerda, Giovanna Antonelli, Werner Schünemann, Camila Morgado

Votes: 537

14. The Bourne Identity (2002)

PG-13 | 119 min | Action, Mystery, Thriller

68 Metascore

A man is picked up by a fishing boat, bullet-riddled and suffering from amnesia, before racing to elude assassins and attempting to regain his memory.

Director: Doug Liman | Stars: Franka Potente, Matt Damon, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen

Votes: 494,438 | Gross: $121.66M

15. Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)

R | 114 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

70 Metascore

During China's Tang dynasty the emperor has taken the princess of a neighboring province as wife. She has borne him two sons and raised his eldest. Now his control over his dominion is complete, including the royal family itself.

Director: Yimou Zhang | Stars: Yun-Fat Chow, Li Gong, Jay Chou, Ye Liu

Votes: 41,398 | Gross: $6.57M

16. The Banquet (2006)

Not Rated | 131 min | Action, Drama, Fantasy

A loose adaptation of Hamlet, "The Night Banquet" is set in an empire in chaos. The Emperor, the Empress, the Crown Prince, the Minister and the General all have their own enemies they would like to finish off at a night banquet.

Director: Xiaogang Feng | Stars: Ziyi Zhang, You Ge, Daniel Wu, Xun Zhou

Votes: 6,500

18. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

PG-13 | 97 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

70 Metascore

A pretty, popular teenager can't go out on a date until her ill-tempered older sister does.

Director: Gil Junger | Stars: Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik

Votes: 285,942 | Gross: $38.18M

You know what I don't hate about you? A hot, blonde, 17 yo Julia Stiles dancing around drunk and all horned up on a table after a few douche bags feed her free alcohol in exchange for her firm boobie hugs and hj's at an out of control high-school party. Don't forget the barely budding boobs of 16 yo Larisa Oleynik whose hoo-hoo cannot wait to be discovered on her first date. Sure, it's a take-off from Shake-His-Spear's "The Taming Of The Shrew", but don't forget, this mov is more about white alabaster mounds than it is about Iambic Pentameter. Does anyone else appreciate when hot daughters lie to daddy? I turned lying to daddy into an art form, and have written several hot books on the subject. Guess who plays dear ole dad? The dad from "Clueless" (Dan Hedaya). I guess he jumps at the chance to play the father who cannot pick the forbidden fruit of his coming of age daughters. We all know that bald, middle-aged, overweight men have a weakness for the woo-tang clan; butt this time his will is strong, and nothing happens, so mommy does not divorce daddy. There are way too many Italian stallions in this thing, but we will forgive this 1999 oversight for the moment. What does my snatch hate about this movie...nothing!

19. 16 Wishes (2010 TV Movie)

G | 90 min | Drama, Family, Fantasy

Abby's made a 16 wishes list for her 16th birthday. She gets 16 magic candles - 1 wish per hour. Things are fine in the beginning.

Director: Peter DeLuise | Stars: Debby Ryan, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Anna Mae Wills, Karissa Tynes

Votes: 11,897

Cute little Debby Ryan actually is 16 in this movie about a sweet 16 party that has magical repercussions. You know what else has the number 16 concerning this movie? The 16 red candles that I lit during this movie while I went all naughty in my bedroom under the covers. Those tight little teen outfits in this movie just did it for me. This flick did the trick 16 times before my little brother almost walked in on me and I had to quit.

20. 18-Year-Old Virgin (2009 Video)

Unrated | 86 min | Comedy

A senior must lose her virginity before she can sleep with her dream guy at a high school graduation party.

Director: Tamara Olson | Stars: Olivia May, Lauren Walsh, Todd Leigh, Dustin Harnish

Votes: 8,614

Olivia Alaina May has a super-tight, 18 yo virgin vagina that needs to get overrun like the Visigoths ravaged Rome. One suggestion Olivia, shave the V of that barely legal love tunnel before a potential bf puts his spicy Italian sausage in your untouched hot dog warmer. Don't miss the gamer girl scene just a few minutes in where she bends over and shows us that upside down heart shaped hiney we all wish our gf's had. Shhhh, don't let your chubby wife bust you reading this list. Those fatties will divorce you in 2 minutes when they catch you texting me. Don't blame me when your crappy relationship runs ashore bc I really get a chance to turn you on. There's nothing wrong with a married man sexting a single girl. It's completely natural, just like Olivia Alaina's boobs.

21. A Cinderella Story (2004)

PG | 95 min | Comedy, Family, Romance

25 Metascore

Routinely exploited by her wicked stepmother, the downtrodden Samantha Montgomery is excited about the prospect of meeting her Internet beau at the school's Halloween dance.

Director: Mark Rosman | Stars: Hilary Duff, Chad Michael Murray, Jennifer Coolidge, Dan Byrd

Votes: 78,604 | Gross: $51.44M

This Cinderella story is all about Hilary's Duff walking around for us to judge. We all know that 16 yo Hilary is in her prime in 2004, and has a duff that just won't quit. Don't worry, you will have the opportunity to see her bend over in tight pants and see some downblouse action to beat the boner band. Don't feel guilty, she's in her twenties now, and has made millions off of many of us who have gotten off. Check out those recent pics on google of her in yoga pants. It nearly made my head explode.

22. About Cherry (2012)

R | 98 min | Drama

33 Metascore

A troubled young woman moves to San Francisco, where she becomes involved in pornography and aligns herself with a cocaine-addicted lawyer.

Director: Stephen Elliott | Stars: Ashley Hinshaw, James Franco, Heather Graham, Lili Taylor

Votes: 9,538 | Gross: $0.00M

Our dirty little braided schoolgirl Ashley Henshaw is a 22 yo hottie who plays a teen that Heather Graham just can't get enough of. Big ole' down syndrome forehead Heather tells her that her body is a work of art. You know what else is a work of art? My opening flower when Trashley Henshaw shows us the nip nips and a little drippy drip comes out into my white cotton panties. It's ok, girl jizz is white, and we all know that white is all-right. This movie is all about Cherry, and my cherry is all about this movie. Bam!

23. After.Life (2009)

R | 104 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller

36 Metascore

After a car accident, a young woman caught between life and death meets a funeral director who claims to have the gift of transitioning the dead into the afterlife.

Director: Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo | Stars: Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long, Chandler Canterbury

Votes: 35,605 | Gross: $0.11M

After her nude debut in Prozac Nation, Christina Ricci just didn't get enough exhibitionism out of her system, so this time she goes full frontal and full bubble butt nudity in this drama/suspense. We all know our cute little Chrissy loves to play the dark, creepy and sarcastic goth girl...butt this time she has gone way too far. About halfway through the film, she gets all-out nakey and her clothes stay off for the rest of this raunchy romp. The old mortician man cannot stop thinking about her bouncy body, and what a body it is! No stunt-butts here my friends. I knew she had a rack, but who knew she had a full-on 100% hourglass body that just won't quit? Did you know that only 15% of girls have an hourglass body? This is why this naughty nubile gets a 10 star nipple-tingling rating from this labia lover. At 29, she's tipping the scales at nearly too old for a woman to be naked on film, butt go ahead and give it a go. My 'gina thanked me with a nice little splish-splash before the credits rolled out. Bam!

24. All You've Got (2006 TV Movie)

PG-13 | 95 min | Drama, Sport

Three privileged female volleyball players transfer to the barrio high school of rivals when their private campus burns down.

Director: Neema Barnette | Stars: Adrienne Houghton, Sarah Wright, Ciara, Jennifer Peña

Votes: 1,115

What is this movie all about? Teenage girl bodies in tight as hell volleyball outfits. Once you start watching the flick, all you've got is a tingly V or a manbone that is just waiting to be relieved. Turn down the lights, get under the covers, light 7 candles, and get your mound-motor running until the job gets done. Adrienne Bailon and Sarah Wright are both 23 yo here, and they show us just how far girl power can go. They take volleyball playing to a whole new level when they learn that butts and legs get sculpted to perfection when they work out every day and stop eating like greedy cows. We can all take a lesson from this mov and learn to be hotter than bacon grease if we will just stop eating and let those calories out into the restaurant toilet once in a while. There is nothing wrong with it as long as the stomach is flat and the body is tight. Go team!

25. American Pie (1999)

R | 95 min | Comedy

58 Metascore

Four teenage boys enter a pact to lose their virginity by prom night.

Directors: Paul Weitz, Chris Weitz | Stars: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Jennifer Coolidge

Votes: 366,525 | Gross: $102.56M

My pie tingles every time I watch this flirty flick on my fallopian tube. Our cute little firecrotch Alyson Hannigan is a tight bodied 22 yo when she reveals that she likes to insert a silver plated flute into her eagerly awaiting love pudding each summer at high school band camp. Super-tramp Tara Reid is a slightly older 23 yo who is playing an iron-box virgin who won't give it up to her sackless effiminate bf. Don't worry, we've got a true teen in this pie; the cute lil' 18 yo Mena Suvari with her petite body and little perky boobs that just won't quit. Please do not forget 19 yo Natasha Lyonne who was offered the part on Dawson's Creek that Katie Holmes played. Guess what, she said she didn't want to be on a television show bc it might restrict her movie career. What a dumb bitch...when was the last time you saw Natasha in a movie? This teen sex mov is all about losing your virginity inside of a hot teenage girl's jizztrap and not pulling out even if you promise her that you will. We all know that boys lie to get girls to lie on their backs.

26. American Pie 2 (2001)

R | 108 min | Comedy

43 Metascore

Jim and his friends are now in college, and they decide to meet up at the beach house for some fun.

Director: J.B. Rogers | Stars: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan

Votes: 234,210 | Gross: $145.10M

The main thing to remember about this twat tingling flickity flick, is that the pies in American Pie 2 are two years older. We must be careful in our judgment here. We don't want no saggy pies. Alyson Hannigan brings her A-cup game into this one, and sluts it up like her daddy taught her when she was going through the awkward years. Tara Reid stays slutty, and it is just impossible to stop looking into her bright blue Aryan eyes no matter how old she is. Do not forget to check out 20 yo Mena Suvari's butt that just got bigger this year because her body is still developing. Let's face it, many girls are not done developing their bodies until they hit 20 or 21 yo. Shannon Elizabeth makes a topless debut, which resulted in my g-spot making a gooey debut when I watched the webcam scene. What will this movie do to your pie while you watch it? I don't know, but I can tell you that it Americanized me. Bam!

27. Aquamarine (2006)

PG | 110 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

51 Metascore

Two teenage girls discover a mermaid in their beach club's swimming pool.

Director: Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum | Stars: Emma Roberts, JoJo, Sara Paxton, Jake McDorman

Votes: 36,955 | Gross: $18.60M

A blonde, innocent, and very stuck-up 17 yo Sara Paxton stars in this movie about several horny teenage girls who turn into mermaids every time their hot teen bodies get wet...and it seems to happen pretty often in this filthy film. Sure, it may be a rip-off of Splash, but their bodies are much tighter and younger than Daryl Hannah's 23 yo body. Is it inappropriate to call this one Scale-Bait? Bam!

28. Barely Legal (2011 Video)

Not Rated | 89 min | Comedy

Sue, Cheryl and Lexi are best friends. They do something special every year for their birthday as they were all born on the same day. Now their 18th birthday, they set out to lose their virginity.

Director: Jose Montesinos | Stars: Jeneta St. Clair, Lisa Younger, Melissa Johnston, Morgan Benoit

Votes: 2,600

23 yo Jeneta St. Clair, 21 yo Lisa Younger, and 22 yo Melissa Johnston are all playing 18 yo barely legal bitches that need to lose their virginity, so they all decide to do it on the same day. I'm not kidding. This is literally the premise of the movie. Too bad these girls don't swing both ways because they could just do each other with their digits and toys that can easily be ordered from dirty magazines. It's their birthday, but presents aren't the only thing they're unwrapping. Nudity is flying at us left and right as we see titties, twenty year old butts, and even a shot of Melissa Johnston's totally shaved 22 year-old snatch. Because it is shaved, we can see the top of her cute lips just before she slips in to the shower to clean up her slippery slit. Make sure you watch the unrated version so you can see the lezbionic scenes that almost made my mound explode.

29. Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)

R | 75 min | Comedy, Sci-Fi

An intergalactic babe borrows her dad's T-bird ship to do a little planet-hopping with her two friends, but they run out of fuel unexpectedly, and must land on Earth. They land on the ... See full summary »

Director: David DeCoteau | Stars: Joe Estevez, Don Swayze, Joey Travolta, Burt Ward

Votes: 753

Sometimes we just get tired of naked bodies from the planet Earth. If you have ever seen 'Bikini Carwash Company', or 'Bikini Summer', then this is pretty much the same friggin' movie. 25+ breast implanted hoebags dancing around to music on a California beach that comes from nowhere. In this movie, whores from another planet steal daddy's spaceship and land in southern California to dance around and wave their boobies and boxes until some jerkoff slides his American sausage into their alien snootches just to shut them up. They are better off for the experience, and tell daddy all about it when they take the busted up spaceship back home. Daddy eventually says that it is ok, if his daughter's and her 2 friends dance around in bikinis for a few minutes. That is the price they must all pay for intergalactic grand-theft spaceship.

30. Bikini Summer (1991)

R | 87 min | Comedy

A group of friends are hired to redecorate a beach house while the elderly owners are out of town for the summer. Redecorating is the last thing on their minds, and a wild bikini filled ... See full summary »

Director: Robert Veze | Stars: Melinda Armstrong, David Millbern, Kelli Konop, Shelley Michelle

Votes: 449

If you like old washed up breast-implanted bikini bimbos, then this is the movie for you. All of my friends are younger and tighter than these leather-faced hags with boobs that look like 2 fried eggs hangin' on a nail. Good luck trying to get a c-bone or d-bone with this one bc there are no teenagers in this movie at all. Boo. Hey, put dem drunk goggles on, and pretend they aren't middle-aged saggy maggies. When I was a very little girl, I used to watch these kind of movies on USA 'Up All Night' where Gilbert Godfried was the host and made sexual pun jokes at every commercial break. I miss that old Heeb. Bam!

31. Bring It On (2000)

PG-13 | 98 min | Comedy, Romance, Sport

52 Metascore

A champion high school cheerleading squad discovers its previous captain stole all their best routines from an inner-city school and must scramble to compete at this year's championships.

Director: Peyton Reed | Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Jesse Bradford, Gabrielle Union

Votes: 84,611 | Gross: $68.38M

A never been touched down there 17 yo Kirsten K. Dunst shows us just how hot her body can get before she's legally allowed to have casual sex in the state of California. What did this flirty flick really bring on? A full-on dripping orgasm after the introductory scene where we are supposed to imagine little Kiki naked in front of the entire school body. We all know Kirsten has finally took the top off in 'Melancholia' and 'All Good Things', so just memorize her older boobs first, and then make her boobs time travel back in your mind to 17 years old. Her little dance did it for me downstairs during the first 5 minutes of this teen cheer mov. Bammo!

32. Cadet Kelly (2002 TV Movie)

TV-G | 101 min | Comedy, Drama, Family

A fashion-conscious youngster is horrified when she is forced to move to military school.

Director: Larry Shaw | Stars: Hilary Duff, Christy Carlson Romano, Gary Cole, Shawn Ashmore

Votes: 12,782

OMG, this has got to be one of my favorites TV movies of all time! Our cute little Hilary's Duff is barely 16 yo in this movie about a spacey, schoolgirl outfitted, hippie-headed little boobed blonde who gets shipped off to a military academy after her horny mommy dates a military man. It's ok, because she meets many hotties along the way and eventually learns to fit in after fingering late at night under the covers. You'll have to find the super-rare NC-17 version in Japan to see Hilary's orgasm scene. We all know that Hilary develops her melons and roundy-round at age 18, but we are allowed to check out her tight bod before it fills out. I hope that Hell is not a real place, because watching this movie may actually send me there due to the perverse thoughts which keep entering my mind along with the tingling that cannot be stopped down there. It will probably be worth it in the end... and Hilary's end is so tight at 16, I am willing to chance it.

33. Cashback (2006)

R | 102 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

54 Metascore

After a painful breakup, Ben develops insomnia. To kill time, he starts working the late night shift at the local supermarket, where his artistic imagination runs wild.

Director: Sean Ellis | Stars: Sean Biggerstaff, Emilia Fox, Michelle Ryan, Erica Ellis

Votes: 81,464 | Gross: $0.02M

This lonely Brit store clerk has way too much time on his hands at work after his gf Suzy (played by 21 yo English muffin Michelle Ryan) breaks up with him and moves on like George Clooney. This limey develops insomnia and fantasizes about Sharon the checkout girl (played by 29 yo old sock Emilia Fox) during the graveyard shift. His artistry allows him to undress the women he sees with x-ray vision and we all get to watch. He draws dirty dick pictures in his sketchbook and wanks off like a wanker in the bathroom as we all watch. Eventually he gets what he wants, but all we are really left with is a mov that we are guessing the plot of, while hottie models walk by and by. Oh my my!!!

34. Chloe (2009)

R | 96 min | Drama, Mystery, Romance

48 Metascore

Suspecting her husband of infidelity, gynecologist Dr. Catherine Stewart hires an escort named Chloe in order to test his faithfulness. Soon, the relationships between all three intensify.

Director: Atom Egoyan | Stars: Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson, Max Thieriot

Votes: 67,624 | Gross: $3.07M

A slutty and sultry 23 yo Amanda Seyfried stars in this movie about a prostitute whose ultimate goal is to lie to Julianne Moore about husband handjobbies, and to eventually eat her raunchy ole rug like there's no tomorrow. Our no-no places get to throb when the R-rated full on female nudity occurs, and a no weenie sex scene ensues. Chloe gets her way, and forces Julianne to jizz. Don't forget about the big butt we see on Amanda these days. She must be proud of it, or we she wouldn't have shown it off to millions of eagerly awaiting horndogs, all grabbing their goo-filled gobs in the back row of the movie theater. Boys make me sick! Big bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round!

35. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)

PG | 89 min | Comedy, Family, Music

33 Metascore

A teenage girl is convinced that her home city revolves around her until her family packs up and moves to the suburbs, where she finds herself competing for attention.

Director: Sara Sugarman | Stars: Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox, Adam Garcia, Glenne Headly

Votes: 26,816 | Gross: $29.33M

Our lusty little Lindsay Lohan is barely 17 when she stars in this airhead teen comedy about a girl who wants to get with her fav band's singer. She pretends what it might be like to have sex for the first time each night before she goes to bed. She is not above breaking out the electric toothbrush that her daddy bought her for Christmas. Don't worry, the rockstar's penis gets too trashed to ravage our little Lilo's untouched twat. He passes out, and she is left all alone and horny so she has no choice butt to give herself a secret fingerbang while he sleeps his hangover off. The real confession is all about her ability to please herself just like I can each and every night.

36. Crossroads (I) (2002)

PG-13 | 93 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

27 Metascore

Three childhood best friends, and a guy they just met, take a road trip across the country, finding themselves and their friendship in the process.

Director: Tamra Davis | Stars: Britney Spears, Anson Mount, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning

Votes: 37,855 | Gross: $37.19M

Our bad little schoolgirl Britney Spears stars in this teen girl film about three 18 yo girls who need to get away from daddy's watchful eye and go on a roadtrip to California with a strange man who may or may not be a serial-killer. Remember when our little virgin Brit was only 16 and innocent in that super-slutty schoolgirl music video? It started an underage teen girl fetish that has just gotten worse with each and every year. Girls all over the world started acting like sloppy sluts in order to keep up with what all the boys wanted. She's my hero. Bad little Britney is actually almost 20 yo here, but we'll forgive her after we see her naughty little underwear dance in the opening scene. In another scene, she almost loses her virginity to Justin Long, but he is too much of a pussy to force his way up into her teen love tunnel. She may not lose her choo-choo cherry in that scene, but she does come out of the bathroom in matching pink undies and we get to see what little Louisiana has goin' on upstairs and downstairs. Ohhhhhh, here comes the goo-goo juice! Thirty-two minutes in, there is an all out cat fight between all three girls. The uppity black, the trailer trash preggo, and our dear little darling Britney Rears. She must be a terrorist, cause he body is da bomb! Boom! I'm glad busty Britney is making a comeback, cause I just made a comeback in my panties.

37. Dancing at the Blue Iguana (2000)

R | 123 min | Drama, Mystery

41 Metascore

A non-glamorous portrayal of the lives of people who make their living at a strip club.

Director: Michael Radford | Stars: Charlotte Ayanna, Daryl Hannah, Kristin Bauer van Straten, W. Earl Brown

Votes: 3,599 | Gross: $0.03M

Why is this movie in a list of teen girl movies? I don't know, but after I gave this stripper movie a chance, I realized that it was worth it. Sometimes us girls need a different type of movie to slide in a finger or two sideways on a lonely Saturday night. I have to admit that I've always been a fan of tight-assed Daryl Hannah, and big-boobied Jennifer Tilly. We know from watching 'Splash', that Aryan Daryl just can't keep her clothes on, and from watching 'The Getaway' that crazy ass Jennifer Tilly goes nuts on everyone bc she's a typical emotionally unstable woman. The Blue Iguana is a strip club where dreams go to die, and the dumbest of the dumb strippers end up working. Turn down the lights, do a big ole line of Coca-Moca, and bootie dance to the stripclub music like there's no tomorrow. You can thank me for it later.

38. Drive Me Crazy (1999)

PG-13 | 91 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

42 Metascore

Nicole and Chase used to be BFFs, then junior high happened. The high school centennial dance is coming but Nicole gets dumped. So does Chase. They stage a relationship to get at their exes. They visit each other's worlds. Love in the air?

Director: John Schultz | Stars: Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier, Stephen Collins, Mark Metcalf

Votes: 17,691 | Gross: $17.85M

You know what drives me crazy? A 21 yo Melissa Joan Hart who keeps growing her boozies and butt like it's going out of style. She sho don't look 21 because I totally believe that she is sweet and 17. I guess I fell for it during 'Sabrina' the 1995 movie where she plays a 16 year old and she really does look 16. MJH is just one of those girls that looks younger than she really is, and we love her for that. In 'Drive Me Crazy', my little Melissa is old enough to legally drink alcohol, and she drinks it like a fish. Her fav poison is Gin, and when she drinks it makes her lazy eye drift around like a flying saucer on "Lost In Space"! It's ok though, because we will never forget that Melissa Joan Hart has a heart-shaped hiney that will never quit. My secret naughty muscle gets all tingly and wet just thinking about how I would caress and worship every square inch of that angelic ass. I bet even her poops smell like strawberries and rose petals. Text me back hun, and we will make this magical night happen anytime you are ready for some Asian action. Bamm-Bam-A-Lam!

39. Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

PG-13 | 97 min | Comedy, Romance, Thriller

28 Metascore

A small-town beauty pageant turns deadly as it becomes clear that someone will go to any lengths to win.

Director: Michael Patrick Jann | Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Ellen Barkin, Allison Janney

Votes: 31,544 | Gross: $10.56M

This time sweet little 16 yo Kirsten KiKi Dunst is a shy trailer-trash hottie wit da body who wants to win an underage beauty pageant with her tight and tawdry body. Somehow, only one of the judges is a perv. The stuck-up rich slut who is her main competition is 27 yo Denise Richards. Who knew that a woman so old could still have a tight body with DD boobies that refuse to droop. Thank you Dr. Solarno. The beauty of these bodies yanks my young yahoo every time I watch these googly gals. Look away when big ole' fatty fat Kirstie Alley elephants her way across the screen as the mommy of Denise Richards. Let us focus on the teen action so that we can complete the fj before the movie is over.

40. Easy A (2010)

PG-13 | 92 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

72 Metascore

A clean-cut high school student relies on the school's rumor mill to advance her social and financial standing.

Director: Will Gluck | Stars: Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Penn Badgley, Dan Byrd

Votes: 346,634 | Gross: $58.40M

What's easy about this flick? Emma Stone's 21 yo vagina. She may not be as whorish as her reputation is in this movie, but don't let the Hollywood story here fool you. We know from Jim Carrey, that she loves to get on all fours and bark like a dog while you spank her with a paddle. Don't ask me why she gets off on it, bad girls just like to get spanked and they deserve it. She decides to one up her dark-skinned bff to see who can get the sluttiest reputation. Easy Emma is not above taking cash for a dirty story that didn't happen. I kinda like that idea. I wouldn't mind getting paid for making up dirty stories that never happened. Give me a job Penthouse Forum!

41. Election (1999)

R | 103 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

83 Metascore

A high school teacher's personal life becomes complicated as he works with students during the school elections, particularly with an obsessive overachiever determined to become student body president.

Director: Alexander Payne | Stars: Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Chris Klein, Jessica Campbell

Votes: 86,930 | Gross: $14.88M

Holy freakin' moly! We have been waiting for 25 yo Reese to get raunchy since she pulled out her boobies in her first movie "Twilight" in 1998. Since then she's been taking frigid ice queen roles where she doesn't put out for manipulating men. This is not acceptable. We all need some manmeat every once in awhile, and there is nothing wrong with it. We get to hear that the real Reese get wetter than any teen that her teacher has taken advantage of so far. That is an accomplishment. Frack me Mr. M, frack me Mr. M, frack me Mr. M!!! Now we know exactly what she sounds like during sex. You know who I'm going to vote for in the election? More teacher/student sex scenes in teen movies from now on.

42. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

R | 159 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller

68 Metascore

A New York City doctor embarks on a harrowing, night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife reveals a painful secret to him.

Director: Stanley Kubrick | Stars: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Todd Field, Sydney Pollack

Votes: 289,944 | Gross: $55.69M

You know what makes my eyes shut? The old and saggy women in having orgie sex in a weird cult mansion in this movie. Make sure you get the director's cut so that you don't see the ridiculously edited weird sex scenes that the idiot censors came up with. The only real hottie in this film is 15 yo Leelee Sobeiski. I have to admit that Nicole Kidman somehow still looks hot at a ripe old age of 29 yo. How is this possible? She drinks the blood of underage virgins just like Countess Dracula did and it's working for her. That body don't look like no 29 year old as we are allowed to see her topless and in tight white undies next to Tom Cruise who wants nothing to do with her hot bod. I'm sorry Nicole, you're just barking up the wrong tree, Tom may not be as hetero as you thought. Let's get back to the real hottie... Leelee Sobieski. We will see her name several more times in this teen movie list. Guess what wankers, she's literally a 15 yo Russian actress playing a 15 yo Russian daughter who rebels against daddy by prick teasing 2 older drunk guys in daddy's house in the infamous underage underwear scene. She will only get cast as a young slut from here on because that's what the audience wants to see. Don't forget to see her in 'Tart' 2001, 'Pumpkin' 2002, 'Walking All Over Me', 'Girl' 1998, 'Face/Off' 1997, and 'Lolita' 1997 (where she is a tight and tart little 14 yo). How has this hottie gotten away with teenage tramp films in the USA? We don't know... butt when a miracle occurs, you shouldn't ask too many questions. Bammo!