Worst Movies I've Ever Seen

(American title Precautions against Fanatics) Painfully unfunny pseudodocumentary from Werner Herzog, but at least it's in the style that This Is Spinal Tap and the other Christopher Guest comedies of the 1990s and 2000s would make famous.

Lousy Nazi propaganda.

Irredeemable, not entertaining, hardly watchable trash.

Embarrassment.

Would-be compelling but cruelly deceptive Nazi propaganda. Although this film isn't one of the hate-the-Jews films, nor is it terribly filmed objectively, for completely covering up the atrocities of the Holocaust, it probably deserves to be #1 on this list.

Disturbingly awkward.

Inane, plotless comic-book adaptation.

I saw this because I fell in love with Julie Condra from The Wonder Years. The problem with this low-budget movie is not that it is so offensive or awful or poorly acted, but with a simple, stupid premise, dull script, substandard photography, and weak direction of the actors, it fails to offer much entertainment value beyond that of a run-of-the-mill late-night TV-movie.

Mostly inoffensive, but pointless and embarrassing for all involved especially at this stage of their careers.

Beautiful locales and bodies almost keep this crappy Jaws knock-off afloat.

Stupid, poorly made comedy in which an average Joe unknowingly breaks up with a vindictive sexy superhero. Has Uma Thurman's career ever recovered?

Yep, just ridiculous.

Preposterous yet funny filmmaking, but a rocking soundtrack. Poor Gene Kelly, but at least Olivia Newton-John can sing and looks great.

Any film that unites Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, especially one made during the course of I Love Lucy, would be a disappointment in comparison to the landmark TV sitcom. But this movie is a mostly unfunny, drawn-out, labored comedy for the Arnazes.

Ignoring the timeless original, this sequel is not a complete wash, given the early star presence of Michelle Pfeiffer and the two legitimately fun and well-staged numbers, "Cool Rider" and "Score Tonight." But the actors are too self-aware and the T-Birds and Pink Ladies too self-centered and constrained by their codes of conduct to be relatable or even likable.

Frustrating Nazi propaganda.

Typical bad slasher film, I imagine. Just one of the few I've ever seen.

Surprisingly engaging and disturbing, but a total failure by the end due to the reliance on supernatural elements and awkward storytelling.

Excessively melodramatic, hollow crime thriller won Madonna a Razzie even though she's oddly the only one who makes this watchable.

Painfully dark, with a waste of a fine cast. The characters are unsympathetic, and most of them merely exist to torment Nicole Kidman's character.

Constant chatter and yet what is at the center? A melodramatic, cliched love story. The pacing is terrible, the plot way too convoluted, the characters hypocritical without a purpose, and the redemption of Gordon Gekko completely ill-advised.

Beautiful art direction and of course Rita Hayworth, but the storyline is ridiculous and the score forgettable.

Overedited and schlocky.

Interesting premise, but this awkward mix of dark humor and gore just doesn't work, thanks to a nonexistent plot, despite engaging performances from both female leads.

Amiable but bland, poorly directed, and slow-paced Carl Reiner rom-com with Kirstie Alley and several other famous stars.

The ghost of Hitchcock inevitably looms large over Gus Van Sant's shot-for-shot color remake, a film of legitimate academic interest but ultimately a weak, bloodless thriller due to miscast actors and stilted performances.

Nicole Kidman is well cast in theory in the role Elizabeth Montgomery brought to life with her class, charm, and intelligence; unfortunately, the complex setup belies dumbed-down and flimsy character development, and Will Ferrell's brand of humor in particular is out of frame. Michael Caine and especially Shirley MacLaine are underused, but the true standout performance is from Kristin Chenoweth, who plays Isabel's daffy, spastic neighbor.

Dumb, but watchable and hilarious!

Fascinating failed attempt at satire/comedy wrings few laughs despite its (too) shocking content and Cohen's committed character turn.

Quite watchable, but senseless, thriller. Lena Olin gives a good performance.

Melodramatic misfire in which expatriate half-sisters deal with one's messy divorce in Paris. The film plods along due to an uninspired script, flat characterizations, and absent direction. The only redeeming feature is the talented but wasted cast.

Very disappointing adventure in which a little girl (Abigail Breslin) enlists the help of her favorite author, a closeted xenophobe (Jodie Foster), when her father goes missing from the secluded South Pacific island where they live. Foster is very funny and quirky, but the film itself is poorly written, directed, and edited, and Breslin's performance is unbelievably unimpressive.