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Saw II (2005)
One of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life
I try to figure out a way to somehow explain exactly how bad this movies is, but I can't find the words. Just to point out that it is edited like the most hyperactive MTV-action-movie-trailer you have ever seen doesn't cut it. To mention that the acting is so horrible that it makes you wanna stab yourself in the eye over and over isn't enough. Even if I would explain the infinite numbers of plot holes and embarrassing mistakes you would never, ever understand exactly how bad this movie really is. All the parts put together creates something more than the mere sum of these parts. The result is a beast, a demonic entity with powers that are not of this world. This movie is so bad it brings physical pain to your body and torments your soul, possibly for all eternity - I just have to wait and see. The worst part is knowing that people did this - that human beings created this excrement, this rotting pile of maggots. If this war crime of a movie would have any redeeming qualities whatsoever, it would be that sometimes, for the tiniest moment, the gore leads your attention away from the pure evil that is supposed to be acting, from the murderous insanity that tries to pass of like a plot and from the genocidal editing.
I have only seen one movie worse than this: Pups. That might not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to me.
Bad Santa (2003)
Funniest film of 2003
I didn't know much about this movie before I saw it. I wanted to see it because the Coen Brothers were credited with the story idea. I thought it would be an average dark comedy with some good jokes. After the first 10 minutes i was completely hooked. I laughed so hard that tears rolled down my cheeks. In my head I thought "this is the greatest film ever" over and over again. A drunken, miserable, suicidal, mean santa - it can't get any better. This film is the opposite of every other Christmas film you've ever seen, it's the opposite of Disney and it's definitely not a film for kids who still believe in santa clause. I loved it, it went straight to my top 10 list of funniest movies of all time together with the Big Lebowski, O brother where art thou and Beavis and Butthead do America.
Les Français vus par (1988)
Lynch proves he's capable of comedy
David Lynch is one of my all time favourite directors. I have always wondered how a comedy made by him would look like. Would it be funny, would it be as disturbing as some of his other work, would I laugh? When I got the "Short films of David Lynch" DVD, the first one I watched was "The Cowboy and the Frenchman". And I laughed allright. This film is one of the funniest I have ever seen, Lynch's approach to the genre is just pure genius. I can't really describe why it's so funny, you just have to watch it for yourself. Fans of Lynch will not be disappointed, it still feels just as deep and twisted as his other work but at the same time light and cheerful.
Bad Boys II (2003)
Worst movie of the year
This is, without doubt, THE worst movie of the year. 2,5 hours of bad acting, bad jokes, bad camera-work, bad action, bad dialogue, bad everything. I feel sick when i think of how much money they threw away on this disgusting piece of crap. I hate myself for not walking out, i sat through the whole thing and that's something I'll probably have to live with for the rest of my life. One thing is for sure though, i will never, ever watch a movie with Will Smith or Martin Lawrence ever again, no matter what. 0/10
The Core (2003)
Should have been called Coremageddon
Back in the days, I saw Armageddon on the big screen and even there it was a really, really bad movie. The Core manage to be even worse. It doesn't even make decent entertainment for the moment, you really just sit there and wonder when this disaster of a movie is going to end. It's the exact same film as Armageddon in every possible way. The only difference is that this time they go in to the core of the earth instead of out in space. They even manage to make the character-descriptions so shallow i wished the "good-guys" would die just to get rid of their über-predictable and unskilled performance. The fact that this movie is released on theaters instead of going straight to video is nothing less than humiliating. I warn you, this movie might not be worse than "Pups" but it sure is worse than "The Mangler 2" which scored 1,5 points here on IMDB.