Set in the Great White North of Canada, YOGA HOSERS tells the story of Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie - two teenage besties from Winnipeg who spend their lives doing Yoga with their faces in their phones, 'Liking' or 'Not Liking' the real world around them. But when these Sophomore girls are invited to a Senior party by the school hottie, the Colleens accidentally uncover an ancient evil, long buried beneath the Manitoba earth.
Now when I first saw the trailer to Kevin Smith's (Clerks, Dogma) Yoga
Hosers I was a little surprised. Now for those who have not seen the
trailer for this film, and are asking yourself "What the Hell are some
Yoga Hosers?" The trailer focuses on the two Canadian girls from
Smith's last film, Tusk. Who work at a convenience store, and encounter
Nazi sausages. Seriously. When I saw the trailer, my immediate instinct
reaction was "What the f*ck?" It wasn't that what the f*ck with anger,
it wasn't what the f*ck with confusion, it really was just a simple
what the f*ck. Now I love Kevin Smith films. He always seemed like a
cool person, he is well spoken, writes scripts with compelling
characters and story, and he seems like the kind of guy you could
easily talk with. His last film Tusk, in my opinion was his worst film.
The films plot was there and it sounded great. What I personally didn't
enjoy was the pace of the film and the characters. At least that film
had a story wrapped around in it. Most people, including myself love
the art form of filmmaking and movies for two main reasons. That being
a story the audience can connect to and characters and audience can
connect to. In my opinion, Yoga Hosers has very little story, with
characters an audience cannot connect to, it isn't that funny, it's
annoying, and I personally didn't get it.
I do not know if Kevin Smith made this film to mess with critics, the
media, and fans. Or is he just this bad of a filmmaker now? Sadly, out
there in the world there really is an individual who has a film script.
A film script with story, compelling characters, a story that is a
breath of fresh air, and a script that is really written with heart.
Unfortunately, we may never have a chance to see it, because Kevin
Smith had to bring us f*cking Yoga Hosers.
Sorry Ah-Boot That
I don't know where to start with this film. For God's sake, there is
even a Marvel cameo of Stan Lee in this! I didn't go into this movie
thinking it was terrible. I saw it on Netflix, went in with a clear
unbiased mind, and 80 minutes later I'm shocked. The one good part of
this movie is Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp. Those two actually
to capture the spirit of Clerks in a way. I found them to be a little
funny. But the rest of it is just bad acting and really bad Canadian
jokes. They run the same joke into the ground over and over and over
and over again. I didn't know it was possible to offend and be
prejudice towards Canadians. After seeing this movie, well Goddamn it
is possible if you're Kevin Smith. We f*cking get it, Canadians say EH
(A) ever so often. When they say about, sometimes it sounds like they
are saying Ah- boot. At first it is a chuckle. After that, it is just
sad; the whole movie is Eh and Ah-boot!
That damn title card pops up every ten minutes when they introduce a
character is bad! It looks like a want to be Scott Pilgrim and Suicide
Squad.The cast is talented, but the story and they way it's written is
completely ridiculous. Pucky Charms cereal ever ten minutes in your
face, terrible Canadian slang jokes, looks like a 1990s video game in
2016, and this is the director of Clerks, Dogma, and Chasing Amy. There
is no way in Hell this movie was made seriously, it is clearly a joke.
A joke I personally do not find funny.
This film is worse than Tusk. If you enjoyed it, I am more than glad
you did. Maybe I just don't get the joke. Kevin Smith's down dude since
day one is in this, Mr. Jason Mewes! And even he is in this for two
minutes, with the look on his face like yeah I don't need this right
now. Really it is a shame, it's a mess, and I will always like and
respect Kevin Smith. But recently his work, his legacy, his films have
gone so far down the sh*tter I don't think he can cleanly come back up.
Sorry Ah-boot that, yeah you should be sorry for this sh*t you call a
I believe this "movie" earns a
2 out of 10.
Worst Kevin Smith film.
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