Bilbo Baggins is swept into a quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Giant Spiders, Shapeshifters and Sorcerers. Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Lonely Mountain first they must escape the goblin tunnels, where Bilbo meets the creature that will change his life forever ... Gollum. Here, alone with Gollum, on the shores of an underground lake, the unassuming Bilbo Baggins not only discovers depths of guile and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Gollum's "precious" ring that holds unexpected and useful qualities ... A simple, gold ring that is tied to the fate of all Middle-earth in ways Bilbo cannot begin to ... Written by
When the Company is being chased through the Goblin tunnels, several Goblins begin swinging at the dwarves from a bridge directly opposite them. When Thorin yells at Dori and Nori to cut the rope holding the bridges together, Dori's section snaps before he brings his sword down to cut it. See more »
My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I've told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. I am old, Frodo. I am not the same hobbit as I once was. It is time for you to know what really happened.
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There is an advertisement for 'splode soda' at the end. No such product exists. See more »
The joy of reading the Hobbit is that it's a humble and somewhat gentle tale for children. Quite why Jackson et al have decided to turn it into a 3 episode overblown epic is unknown. Well, apart the extra money of tieing people into 3 films instead of 1. However, the cracks caused by the necessary padding (the book itself is smaller than a single Lord of the Rings tome) appear almost immediately the film starts, with rambling exposition and tedious backstory (inaccurately elaborated on from Tolkien's appendices and notes) taking up some 90 minutes of the pre-journey film.
Once things get underway we are set for new lows as the 'humour', which up to now has merely been forced but dreary, becomes childish with snot jokes and toilet seat thrones making a 'comic' appearance. Yes the Hobbit is a children's book, but you'd not take a child to see the film as it has its fair share of decapitations etc, so don't make adults sit through 'jokes' only a 5 year old will laugh at. Oh, and I daren't even mention the bunny pulled sled! More Narnia than Nazgul, and far more likely to appeal to Harry Potter and Twilight fans than Tolkien devotees, this is painful indeed.
All characters are forgettable with the small exception of Bilbo and Gandalf. The 13 Dwarfs meld into one and are all forgettable and interchangeable. We then have the de rigeur trawl through battle scenes, no dount in an effort to generate that LOTR nostalgia. But where in the LOTR trilogy they were epic engagements, here they are laborious affairs with no personal engagement, no sense of peril, just an excuse for a battle on screen.
Then there is a backstory with Pale Orc Azog, a one dimensional villain with none of the motives of Sauron, the machiavellian nature of Saruman, or the deception of The Nine. Again, easy for children to understand but nothing here for an adult.
We then have a massive abuse of Deus Ex Machina, with Gandalf literally being a walking Deux Ex Machina machine (just as well as his magic amounts to a few smoke rings and some lights). Perhaps the book is like this, I cannot remember but things seem far more noticeable on film. Perhaps because we are adults now such writing sticks out like a sore thumb, or perhaps Jackson's treatment of the material and the new writing just throws it into sharp relief. Whatever, it just feels hackneyed.
Anyway, remember to set your alarm to wake you up by the time this rambling, overly-verbous and nauseous mess has finished.
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