Stuck with clinic duty, House almost wishes he had the boring patients back after he encounters a young woman with an STD and the need to talk.


(as Juan J. Campanella)


(created by),

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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
Older Man
Marco Pelaez ...
Hiccupping Patient
Dr. Stone
Patient #1
Patient #3
Roger Ainslie ...
Nose Patient
Kristen Glass ...
Beautiful Woman


Stuck with clinic duty, House almost wishes he had the boring patients back after he encounters a young woman with an STD and the need to talk.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Drama | Mystery


TV-14 | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:





Release Date:

30 January 2007 (USA)  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?


When House is paying off patients to leave the clinic, he catches an elderly man with a nice hat who has coughed up blood on his handkerchief. It is monogrammed D.S. - David Shore wrote the episode. See more »


When Wilson and House are in the park at the beginning of the episode, they point out the man in shorts who is 'trolling'. When the camera cuts from House back to the park, he's gone, but the women he was right behind are still jogging. See more »


Dr. Gregory House: You gotta get me out of this. There's nothing to diagnose. There's nothing...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You only tested her for STDs?
Dr. Gregory House: I have seven morons who forgot their raincoats. It's all they asked for, so I didn't waste the lab's time, why?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I wasted their time. She's pregnant.
See more »


References Vertigo (1958) See more »


Grey Room
Performed by Damien Rice
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User Reviews

All copies of this episode should be destroyed...
30 April 2014 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

House: "Patient is a Hollywood screenwriter who suddenly exhibited bizarre behavior and apparently thought he was writing for Grey's Anatomy, but without the sex scenes. Differential diagnosis, people!"

Forman: "Given the quality of the writing in the past, and what we just saw, it's neurological for sure. I'd have to vote for a massive brain tumor growing at warp speed."

House: "That's good. Prep the patient for brain surgery. If we excise the tumor, great. If there's no tumor, something else was scrambling his brains and whatever we do mucking around in there can't make it any worse than it already is. Chase?"

Chase: "There are any number of environmental or outside factors that could account for this kind of behavior--blackmail or extortion, for example."

House: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have the time for you and Chocolate Drop here to go breaking into his apartment and checking his bank statements! Two more episodes like this one and this series will be as dead as disco! Cameron?"

Cameron: "I don't think the patient has anything wrong with him at all, we should send him home and tell his bosses to give him a big raise."

House: "My God, I'm glad the other writers didn't have me jump you back in the first season when your concern for humanity was merely a cute eccentricity and not the suffocating, nausea-inducing plague it's become! Don't you realize it's YOUR career on the line along with the rest of us?"

Cameron: "I'll inject my own throat with Lidocaine so I won't be able to talk, and put on really tight scrubs so the audience can see I'm not wearing underwear."

Forman: "I'll get the biggest, sharpest, scariest-looking saws and drills we've got."

Chase: "I'll get the powdered psychotropic mushrooms Joss Whedon gave me to sterilize the wound after brain surgery."

House: "Aren't you all forgetting something?"

Chase (slapping forehead): "Of course! Bullwhips and cattle prods as preventatives in case the surgery has no effect!"

House: "That's it, people! Let's get out there and save this series!"

4 of 18 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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