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Memorable quotes for
"The Simpsons" Eight Misbehavin' (1999)

Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon: Are you sure you want a child, Apu?
Apu: You know, I do! I mean, there comes a time in a man's life when he asks himself, "who will float my corpse down the Ganges?"
Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon: Oh Apu, take me now!
[Apu turns out the bedroom light]
Apu: Oh, Calcutta!

---

Homer Simpson: Hey Apu. Sitting in the ice cream cooler, ay?
Apu: By chilling my loins I increase the chances of impregnating my wife.
Homer Simpson: Wah-ooh, too much informaaation. Thanks for the mental pictuuure. Why don't you tell us what you reeeally think.
Apu: Would you stop spouting those hackneyed quips?
Homer Simpson: Could you beeee any more...
[pause]
Homer Simpson: Hellooooo...
[laughs]
Homer Simpson: ... Look, just give me some ice cream.
[Apu removes a tub]
Homer Simpson: Um... how 'bout one *not* touching your ass.

---

[in the Kwik-E-Mart]
Ned Flanders: Well, morning Apu. How are the little blessing?
Apu: Owhh, they're a ravenous sworm of locusts just eating and screaming and grabbing and poking and pulling and drooling, and two have cradle rash. How do you get cradle rash when you sleep in a suitcase?
Ned Flanders: [chuckles] They can be a handful... of joy.
Apu: Shut up!
Ned Flanders: They fill your lives with...
Apu: SHUT UP!
Ned Flanders: [quickly] Can't put a price on a miracle.
Apu: I can't believe you won't shut up!

---

Homer Simpson: Eight kids?... Hmmm.
[pause]
Homer Simpson: I'm sterile, right baby doll?
Marge Simpson: Yes dear, from the nuclear plant.
Homer Simpson: Beautiful.

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[Manjula and Apu are in the hospital with newborns]
Apu: How did we get eight?
Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon: Apu, I must confess. When we were having trouble conceiving, I took fertility drugs.
Apu: Wooh. I, too, am afraid I'm guilty of monkeying with nature. I slipped fertility drugs into your breakfast squishy.
Hibbert: [Using a calculator] Mmm-hmm. Well that would only account for quintuplets. Did anyone *else* slip this woman fertility drugs?
[Homer, Marge, and Bart raise their hands]
Homer Simpson: Mine tasted like strawberry.
[Homer pops one into his mouth]
Homer Simpson: Ovulicious...

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