KAUFEN COOLER, THE
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The Cooler
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Memorable quotes for
The Cooler (2003)

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[Natalie sees herself in the rearview mirror]
Natalie: Oh my God.
Bernie: Hey. You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
Bernie: Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.
Bernie: You look in my eyes, Natalie.

Natalie: I thought that shit only happened in the movies.

Shelly Kaplow: You think I want to fuck with your happiness, Bernie? That hurts me.

[beating up Larry in the bathroom]
Shelly Kaplow: Now listen to me, you little Harvard turd. Lootz is all right, so he's walking out of here with everything he's got coming to him. If you so much as touch one fucking hair on his fucking head, I'm gonna fucking wallpaper this fucking bathroom with your fucking ass, do you understand me? Muted tones, isn't that what you said, huh? Huh? I can't hear you. Wait, wait a minute. There it is. Blended in, at a subsonic level, like some kind of mantra: "Pain, pain, pain."
[breaks Larry's wrist]

Shelly: I can make you disappear like THAT! And not one fucking person would miss you!
Natalie: BERNIE WOULD!

Shelly: That guy is kryptonite on a stick.

Bernie: Better luck next time.

Shelly Kaplow: [talking about the Vegas strip] What? You mean that Disneyland mookfest out there? Huh? Come on, you know what that is? Huh? That's a fucking violation is what that is. Something that used to be beautiful, used to have class, like a gorgeous high-priced hooker with an exclusive clientele. Then along came that Steve Wynn cocksucker and knocks her up and put her in a fucking family way. Now she's nothing but a cheap, fat whore hiding behind too much fucking make-up. I look at her and see all her fucking stretch marks. It makes me want to cry because I remember the way she used to be.

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