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Brenda Siemer Scheider,
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[Ray Fay is sitting in a birthday cake, served for Queen Kong, who approaches the giant table]
You can't eat me! I'm jewish! I'm Irish! I'm black!
[Queen Kong sits down on the giant chair]
I'm a leper! I'm a Jewish black Irish leper!
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Never has a film contained so much embarrassment. Not only on the part of the directors, producers, writers and actors, but on the person who has accidentally been duped into watching it. Perhaps the first thing I should say is that I watch bad movies - BAD movies - all the time. They don't phase me, I can sometimes see things in bad films that others can't. Maybe those things aren't there. Either way, bad movies get a lot of bad rep.
Farouk (Frank) Agrama's 1976 atrocity, Queen Kong, is almost certainly the worst film I have ever seen. Worse than Plan 9. Worse than Raiders of the Living Dead. Worse than Bride of the Monster. It is about 750 billion times worse than the Dino DeLaurentiis remake of King Kong and about 984 billion times worse than Peter Jackson's over-long take on the story.
Frankly, this film was doomed from the start. It was produced by Harmony Gold, a typically useless independent company (though they managed to drag themselves out of the gutter in the 80's and are now quite reputable). The writers/producers Ronald Dobrin (Robin Dobria) and Farouk Agrama (Frank Agrama) have assembled one of the worst casts, constructed THE worst ape suit and hired the least skilled effects technicians. The result is, as you can imagine, not pretty.
Much of the film takes place in Lazanga (where they do the Konga...apparently) though you would be forgiven for mistaking it for the English countryside. Combined with the bottom rate acting of Robin Askwith (better know for "Confessions of a Window Cleaner" which is hardly Citizen Kane) and the obviously embarrassed Rula Lenska, this is indeed a depressing affair. The utterly ridiculous ape suit is beyond laughable - much like the film itself - it is just depressing.
As the location moves to London (which recreates the theater scene from the 1933 King Kong in a cheaply designed open air setup) the script descends even further and the production values crash and burn. Surprisingly, it isn't the first time London has been ravaged by a giant ape (see 1961's KONGA) but it IS the first time the ape has looked so unconvincing. Cue cut scenes of postcard London landmarks and a dire-straits intimate moment between Queen Kong and Ray Fay (like Fay Wray - geddit?). Before you know it the film is over and you have lost 90 minutes of you life.
If you want to see a bad film, watch Agrama's 1980 effort (Dawn Of The Mummy) and avoid this one. It is beyond being simple 'bad', it is a crime against cinema (it seems that Paramount Pictures agreed, they attempted to sue Harmony Gold in 1976). This film is also guilty of theft. It WILL steal 90 minutes from you which you WON'T get back. Go ahead, call the police, they won't be interested! Do yourself a favour. Don't. Just don't.
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